"I Dont Need To Diet"
I don't need to go back to slimming world, it doesn't work I'm fine healthy eating at home"
This is what I kept telling myself over and over. I knew that I wasn't shrinking in size but I didn't feel unhappy in myself.
I had always been "the bigger girl" the one with the nice makeup, the girl boys would want to be friends with but not quite girlfriend material.
At 38 weeks pregnant I was nearly 20 stone. 20 STONE!!! I Was absolutely mortified. I had never ever been this heavy in my whole life. Yes I was pregnant but I was careful what I ate during my pregnancy and still managed to resemble a beached blue whale.
It got to the stage where a few of my friends had been going back to slimming world and I could see they were doing really well with it. I knew I could follow the plan and this is when I decided that I was going back to "fat club" as I call it. Reason being it usually is a group of fatties trying to loose weight or people who have lost the weight and like to keep on track by going.
Stepping on the scaled I weight in at 17'13.5. I was quite chuffed id managed to loose the baby weight but even so I was pretty stunned. WHAT A HEFFER!!.
Over the next few weeks I managed to loose 20.5 pounds.
As you can see from the photos above, there have been a few set backs. I had Ivy via an emergency c section (I'll write about my labour story in a separate blog). I found it ok to recover from however I did notice my flabby belly was now lopsided but none the less we were both alive and healthy.
The second row of photos was 8 weeks post partum and post op. I FELT FABULOUS! These jeans hadn't fit me for about a year prior to falling pregnant with Ives because quite frankly I was happy, in love and fell into the "content" rut.
The bottom row of photos was 6 weeks ago. Post Op from a gallbladder removal and having my pancreas flushed after a severe case of pancreatitis. I was and still am bloated from the surgery. Again ive noticed a change in the shape of my tummy it still seems to be quite swollen but i'm hoping in time it will return to normal however, if not im just happy I'm not suffering the worst pain ive ever felt in my life any more. I lost 3 pounds after coming out of hospital and not being able to eat for 4 days and I was suprised I hadn't lost more. None the less I was more then happy with the loss.
To date I've managed to loose 20.5 pounds so just shy of a stone and a half. To say I'm chuffed is an understatement however I know this is a life long thing and im only in the early stages of my weight loss journey. Up until this week I hadn't really struggled with cravings or wanting to eat too many naughty things but this week has been tough. I was on plan for most of it. However... we went for an Italian on Friday night, and a vietnamese on Saturday which was actually healthy and reasonably "on plan". Trying to pull it back this week has been a struggle for me an im pretty sure its due to be star week. I know I want to loose weight and I want it bad. Im expecting a gain on the scales tomorrow and thats fine because I need to realise I cannot get away with thinking I can eat like a queen and still loose weight. As much as I would love to. It hopefully will give me the kick up the ass I need to sort my shit out and get back on track.
I haven't yet set myself a target on paper as to where id like to be, we have 2 holidays booked for this year. One in May and the other in July. there is NO WAY I am willing to let myself go away feeling uncomfortable in a bikini. I know i'm going to have lumps and bumps and rolls but lets face the facts, what woman who was nearly 20 stone at one stage and housed a baby for 9 months isnt going to have some "moving fat". Im more then happy with my stretch marks, my rolls and my lop sided caesarian belly. Im not going to be any Pammy Anderson look alike sprawled out on my sun lounger especially with the spaniels ears tits i've been gifted with!. In an ideal world id love to be able to walk in and buy a size 14 bikini but we shall see what happens along the way. I'm not going to beat myself up about it because Im in this for the long run, there is no going back to being that 20 stone whopper for me! no thank you. So.. heres to hoping miracles can happen and I get a loss tomorrow when I step on the scales however i'm not holding my breath and ill just have to make sure I take an extra big poo before I step on the scales!
I'll provide an update tomorrow no doubt!
Mrs Eskimo x
